


The Bitter Suite: The Mopey Blues

by Laure Alexander (ladyoneill)



Series: The Erotic Adventures of Willow and Spike [25]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, F/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-11
Updated: 2012-04-11
Packaged: 2017-11-03 01:57:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/375823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyoneill/pseuds/Laure%20Alexander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willow and Buffy examine their relationships and angst a lot until Angel joins them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bitter Suite: The Mopey Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published December 12-16, 1998 in two chapters, this was written partly as an apology for writing something very cracky on the 11th. Where my brain was, I have no clue. The first part of this was actually rated PG, almost unheard of in this series.
> 
> While Willow/Spike and Spike/Dru make no shippy appearances, their relationships play a major role.
> 
> Also, I realized I never actually include "graphics sex" in the warnings/tags but I hope you realize that if its rated E, there's smut. I'm this case, it's Buffy/Angel.

Noon rolled around and Willow lay on her bed, flat on her back, staring at her ceiling. For the moment, she seemed to be out of tears.

Her parents had left for their Sunday afternoon at her aunt and uncle's. She had told them she wasn't feeling well, but that they should go on and that she was just going to sleep.

But, she couldn't sleep. The nightmare still gripped her. It had been so frightening...so real.

If she was Buffy, she would have believed it to be a prophetic dream.

Buffy. She had to talk to Buffy. Only she would understand.

*****

Swigging water after her three mile run, Buffy answered the door and stared at Willow, stunned by her appearance. The redhead was flushed and puffy eyed, with tangled hair and haphazardly thrown on clothing. "Will, are you okay?"

Willow shook her head, feeling incredibly numb. "I...I...need...talk." She burst into tears.

Reaching for her friend, Buffy led her into the house and sat her down on the couch, perching on the coffee table in front of her. Gently she rubbed one of Willow's cold hands.

"What's happened, Willow? Did something...happen to you? You look, well, bad," she said, trying to coax some response from the pale, disheveled, sobbing girl in front of her.

Finally Willow began to calm down and wiped her eyes, pressing the heels of her hands into her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she choked. "I thought I was out of tears."

"Will, what happened?" Buffy persisted, very worried.

Exhausted, Willow leaned back against the couch, her mind a jumble of images and bitter thoughts. "Spike," she finally managed to say.

Buffy's concern turned immediately to near panic. "Did he hurt you, Willow? Are you okay, physically? I'll kill him if he hurt you."

"No, no, no killing." Another sob broke from Willow and she shook her head wildly. "Oh God."

"Willow, please let me help you."

Taking a deep breath, Willow tried to force out the truth. "I...I went to the mansion...last night...and I saw...I saw...Oh God, I hate him Buffy, I hate him so much." Fresh tears slid down her puffy, flushed cheeks and she swiped at them ineffectually.

"What did you see?" Buffy coaxed gently.

"Spike and...her...that loony bitch...in bed...naked." Willow began to gasp for breath, rocking on the couch as the sobbing returned.

"Spike and Drusilla?" Buffy was clearly stunned. "But...but I thought he loved you."

"Me too," Willow wailed.

Buffy scrambled off the table and sat on the couch, wrapping her arms around Willow and making soothing sounds as her friend wept.

Sometime later Willow calmed down enough to describe the other things she had seen the night before.

"I know...I know logically that he needs blood to survive, but I never let myself think about it," she said in a small voice, her whole body trembling at the memory. "He killed that man...so joyfully."

Buffy gently pulled Willow's head down to her shoulder and stroked her tangled hair. "It's something we have to face, Will. I know."

"His...his demon kills," she replied in a shuddering voice. "I let a demon...Oh God. I can't believe what I've done, what I've let be done to me."

"Denial is so much easier, Willow, I know this. And the pleasure can make us forget to think about other things."

The bitterness in Buffy's voice made Willow look up, then pull back slightly. "I didn't even think...did he come last night? Did he hurt you?"

Flushing, Buffy nodded slowly. "He came...he didn't hurt me. He's playing games," she added dismissively.

"What happened?"

"It's not important. You need to talk about Spike. You've heard me moan about Angel enough to last through the end of the year."

"I don't want to talk about Spike any more. It...hurts too much."

Buffy sighed and nodded, then took another swig of her water. "He's still here. First time he's spent the night."

"Oh Buffy..."

"And, it was really weird. He...gave me pleasure...all last night, that's all he did. He bathed me and gave me a massage and...made me come. We didn't have sex until this morning."

Willow's brows wrinkled as she pondered this strange change in Angel's actions. "Do you think it's some kind of trick?"

"Has to be. I just can't figure it out. He went on and on about how he no longer wants to punish me and that we're bound together for the rest of my life so we should probably make the best of it." Buffy's eyes flicked away and she finished in a soft voice. "He realized how close to the edge I'd gotten. You were so right, Willow. I didn't even realize it until this morning when I read my last few journal entries. But, Angel realized it, realized that if he continued to be mean to me, to put it in simple terms, I might do something..."

"Drastic?"

Buffy nodded.

"So...what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to try to accept that he's not Angel...and that I want him anyway."

Willow rose to her feet and wandered over to the bookcase, pretending to look at the titles, but really thinking that she and Buffy were, well, if not in the same boat, on the same pond at least. "I don't know what to do, Buffy."

"Will...do you love Spike?"

There was no answer for a long time until Willow finally spoke in a small, desolate voice. "I think I do."

Buffy sighed. "We're both insane." Willow turned and sat down in a rocking chair. "What bothers you more, him and Drusilla or the killing?"

"Well...I was very upset on finding them...together. I drove home and cried and cried, remembering when he first told me he loved me and remembering when he told me I was his only lover. I don't think I can believe him any more. Obviously, I'm not his only..."

"He may not have been lying, at the time. I know that Angel didn't believe that Spike's parts were functioning until...well...that night. Dru probably didn't either."

Willow blushed. "She didn't. She mentioned it when she...captured me the second time."

"You've had sex with all three of the master vampires of Sunnydale," Buffy said on a tangent. Willow turned even redder. "We must be the two weirdest people in the world."

"I don't want to think about her," Willow replied bitterly. "Whenever I think about her, I want to rip her hair out by the roots."

"Good, anger, go with it."

"I don't feel anger very much, you know that."

Buffy tried to encourage her friend. "You have to get this out, Willow. It will make you feel better, I promise."

"I don't even know where to start. All this...stuff is rolling around in me, tearing at me, and it hurts, it hurts so much. All I want to do is cry."

"I know, and that helps too. I hate Dru also. She has a hold on Angel that I don't understand and don't like."

Willow bit her lip and nodded in agreement, then began to speak slowly at first, then picking up steam. "I hate her. I hate her for everything she has with Spike that I don't. I hate her for being able to sleep with him all the time, openly. I hate her for the hundred years they had together. I hate her for being so fucking pathetic that men fall all over themselves to help her...And...and I hate him," Willow choked out. "I hate him so much. Why does it have to hurt so much?" She dragged her feet up on the rocker and wrapped her arms around her legs, sobbing again.

Buffy just let her cry, trying to think of a way to make Willow feel better, but knowing that only time and distance would help. Right now the emotions were too raw, too new.

And, she knew that Willow needed to confront Spike. Last night she had run from him. Until they talked, Willow would never be able to get past his infidelity.

Her brow furrowing, Buffy wondered why Willow didn't consider she and Cordy as cheating.

*****

When Willow calmed down again, she excused herself and headed for the bathroom to freshen up. Returning to the living room, she slumped down on the couch next to Buffy.

"Life sucks."

The Slayer sighed and nodded in agreement. "Have you thought about what you're going to do?"

"Not see him ever again," Willow said slowly.

Buffy took her hand, squeezing it gently. "I don't think that will work, Will. You really need to see him, talk to him."

"I can't," Willow choked out. "I don't want to see him. I don't want to even think about him."

"I know what I'm talking about, believe me. It will make you feel better in the end. Maybe you're reading too much into this."

"Huh?"

"Maybe Spike was asleep and Drusilla crawled into bed with him."

Willow gave her a look of disbelief.

Buffy shrugged slightly. "It's possible...and, even if they did have sex, it's different with vamps, Will. It just doesn't mean that much to them."

Sighing, Willow curled her feet up beneath her and nodded slowly. "I know. Spike said that often enough. Maybe he was trying to tell me something," she replied bitterly.

"I gotta ask you this, Will, because it's been puzzling me for a while. You're totally freaked about Drusilla, but you don't seem to mind sharing him with me and Cordy. Why?"

Willow thought about it for a minute. It didn't hurt to think about Spike and her two friends. "I think it must be because I've been there when it happened. I've been a part of it. I think I'd be hurt if you and he had sex behind my back"

"That makes sense. Okay, devil's advocate here. What about your sleeping with Cordy and me without Spike being there?"

Willow blushed. "I don't think he minds."

"But you don't know for sure."

Shaking her head, Willow mumbled, "He knows about each time. He seems to like listening about them."

"Men." Buffy rolled her eyes.

After a few minutes of silence, Willow continued a little helplessly, "I still can't help but feel like he cheated on me, whether it's logical or not. The image of him and Drusilla...it hurts so much just thinking about it. And, maybe I should have thought about it a long time before now and maybe we should have talked about the important stuff, but I didn't, we didn't and now it's blown up in my face."

"As I said earlier, it's sometimes easier to deny the ugly truths and enjoy the pleasure. And, I told you to do that; I told you to have fun and not think too much. Once the heavy emotions get involved, you have to start thinking."

Willow nodded in agreement. "They just kinda snuck in. The sex was fantastic and he made me feel so good...and then he told me he loved me and no man had ever said that. I just wanted to revel in it for a while and not think of the implications."

"For me," Buffy explained, "love is pain and I'm having to learn to live with that."

"Pain...it was just supposed to be fun and sex, lots of hot sex. It wasn't supposed to become something so important," Willow complained bitterly.

"Will, it's the human heart. We're made to love."

"And we're made to hurt, which is incredibly unfair."

Buffy had to chuckle at the petulant tone in Willow's voice, then quickly sobered under her friend's glowering eyes. "The cheating, the love thing, that you can deal with in time, right, even if you never accept it?" Willow nodded slowly. "You have to talk to him. Right now you never want to see him again, you'd like him to take a flying leap, I understand that, but time helps put things into perspective. There's a more important issue here, Willow."

Willow nodded and answered in a small voice. "The killing."

"Yeah. He kills. They don't need to kill to survive--Angel didn't for a hundred years--but they obviously like it. No matter how kind and sweet and gentle Spike is with you, he's still a killer."

Willow pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them, staring across the room. "I've put off thinking about that for so long. Why did I do that? How have I ignored that? He's a demon. You're right. No matter how nice and loving he is with me, he's still a demon. At least when you fell in love with Angel, he had a soul." She began to cry softly. "I've given myself to a demon willingly, eagerly. I've been developing a relationship with a soulless being."

Buffy slipped her arm around Willow's shaking shoulders, trying to comfort her. "I know, he really hasn't been acting very demon like around you. It surprised me the first time I found the two of you together. He was so different from Angel and so different from how he was last Fall in his 'kill the Slayer' mode."

"How can someone without a soul love?"

"I don't know, Will, but I've seen him look at you, seen the love on his face. The guy...the demon...is nuts about you."

"If he loves me so much, why did he sleep with her?" Willow wailed, burying her face in her hands.

"Okay, so he needs a swift knee to the balls, but you can deal with that, I know you can."

"Our relationship has been so much about sex. I hardly know anything personal about him. We don't talk about how our week's gone or what we've been doing with friends or anything. I don't know his favorite rock band, or movie or flower or color. I know how much he likes to have my fingers on his balls when I'm sucking him, but I don't even know what his real name is."

"And it was so much easier that way, wasn't it," Buffy said in complete understanding. Willow nodded and sniffled, blinking away the burning tears. "To have a relationship, a real relationship, those things are important."

"But, I don't know if that's what I want or if that's what I can handle. I don't think it is, not now. He...he killed someone right before my eyes...That image...it won't go away. The look of savage joy on his face. I don't think I can handle that."

"I understand."

"I wish I did."

"At least we have each other to talk to. I've had to deal with a lot of the same issues."

"And how have you dealt?"

"Not very well, apparently," Buffy muttered, looking at her thin, pale hand. "I love Angel," she continued, softly. "But, he's not Angel. Yet, my love won't go away. I look at him and I see the man I love. Sometimes, like last night, when he touches me so gently...But, I know he's not Angel, no matter how tender he becomes. I still hope...I still hope that he will come to love me. I know it's possible for a demon to love a human."

"Don't look to me for hope, Buffy. I don't think there's a future for me and Spike. Even if we can get past the Drusilla thing...I don't think I can accept him killing. The thought of him touching me..." She began to tremble and wrapped her arms tightly around her knees. "I've been so stupid."

"Ooh, looks like I interrupted a sob session."

Both girls' eyes flew to the entrance to the living room where Angel lounged in the shadows, wearing only his pants. Willow began to gasp for breath, praying he hadn't overheard too much.

Angel slunk into the room, keeping well away from the couch that sat in front of the windows. "Pull the curtains."

"Uh uh, I don't think so," Buffy said, realizing she and Willow were in the sunlight. "Willow's safe here."

Angel growled and glowered, then sank into the easy chair. "Why the long face, Willow? Boyfriend problems? Want me to rip out his spine for you?"

"Uh, no...thank you."

"Want me to cheer you up?" he offered with an evil grin.

Willow flushed and Buffy cleared her throat. "Leave her alone, Angel. She's had a rough day."

"A good fuck usually takes care of that."

"Maybe I should go," Willow mumbled as she carefully rose to her feet and began to edge her way out of the room. Buffy quickly followed, keeping herself between Angel and Willow.

"Oh, leaving so soon? Are you sure you don't want to stay and play?"

Seeing him rise to his feet, Willow squeaked and flew out the front door into the sunshine.

Angel laughed and fell back into the chair.

Buffy glared at him. "That was very mean. She's going through a really tough time."

"And I should care, why?"

Sighing, Buffy sank back down on the couch, arms crossed over her chest. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"Missed you all curled up next to me."

She flushed at the suggestive tone of his voice and felt a tingle run through her body.

"You seem to be in a better mood today," he continued.

"Can't be broody all the time," she quipped back, eliciting a grin from him. "You really like it better when I talk back to you." She was a little amazed by that.

"To a point. The jibes, the quips, the needling...I especially like them when they lead to hot sex." His hand moved to his crotch and he began to caress himself through the leather.

Buffy turned bright red, but couldn't bring herself to look away. Finally, able to breathe again, she rose to her feet and yanked the curtains closed.

Grinning, Angel rose to his feet and they met in the middle of the room. As their hungry mouths found the other's, they sank to the floor, Buffy sprawled on top. Sitting astride him, She yanked her top and sports bra over her head, tossing them aside, then ground her throbbing pussy against his straining cock.

Angel groaned and grabbed her hips, undulating her against him. Lifting his head, he caught one of her swaying breasts, nibbling hungrily on the nipple until she gasped and moaned in pleasure.

Buffy's fingers kneaded his shoulders, then ran down his chest, caressing his nipples, then sliding around the waistband of his pants. Wetness soaked her panties and she rubbed herself harder on the bulge between his legs.

Grunting with lust, Angel hooked his fingers in the sides of her bicycle pants and pulled them down to her knees. Cupping her bottom, he moved the thong aside and wormed one finger into her anus, making her yelp and buck against him. He could smell her arousal and felt his cock throb painfully for release.

"Do you want it nice and gentle?" he grunted out as he thrust a second finger into her tight back passage.

"No," she gasped. "Hard...fast...now." Her fingers fumbled over the button and zipper of his pants, then finally managed to get them open. Finding his rock hard cock, she drew it out and pressed her crotch against it.

Angel's other hand grabbed the swatch of nylon covering her mound and ripped it away. "No recriminations then," he growled as he thrust against her, feeling her hot wetness covering the tip of his cock.

Her mind blanking as hot need took over, Buffy raised herself on her knees, then sank down onto his cock, groaning in pleasure as he filled her hot cavern. A third finger stretched her anus and she bucked wildly. "Yes."

As she began to move on him, rising and falling and squirming her clit against his pubic bone, Angel reached for one of her breasts and gently squeezed and tickled her nipple, all the while plunging three fingers as far as they would go into her ass.

Whimpering in pleasure, Buffy dug her fingers into his ribs and moved faster, her hips churning as the lust built inside her.

"Do you like this, Buff?" Angel managed to ask as his pelvis rose to slam against hers.

"Shit...yes...more." A fourth finger wormed into her and she screamed in pleasure, her shoulders and arms trembling as she dug her fingers into him spasmodically. Sweat slid down her body to drip on him as she moved ever faster, driving them both towards orgasm.

As he felt his balls tightening, Angel moved his hand from her breast to her pussy, sliding his fingers into her soaking curls to find her throbbing clit. Tweaking it, he felt the shudders begin deep inside her and her muscles clench around his cock.

Buffy froze, her mouth falling open in a silent scream, as great tremors racked her body. She clenched every muscle and exploded into pleasure. Gasping for breath, trembling from head to foot, Buffy tumbled forward onto Angel, her pussy quaking around his cock.

Growling, Angel pulled his fingers from her ass and grabbed her hips, slamming her down hard, his hips rising to meet her. Yelling, he came, filling her with his cold seed, then collapsed beneath her.

Slowly Buffy regained her senses. As she squirmed on top of Angel, she winced at the wonderful soreness between her legs and the feeling of their mingled juices seeping out of her. She gave a brief thought to the carpet they were probably staining, but didn't have the energy to do anything about it.

"You keep squirming like that and I'm going to get hard again and fuck you silly," he growled tiredly.

Buffy smiled against Angel's chest and stopped wiggling. She wasn't quite sure why this sex had felt so good, so NOT empty. It had been hard and fast and rather violent at times.

Maybe it was because he had offered to make it nice and gentle.

End Bitter Suite: The Mopey Blues


End file.
